Show me the money

Or better said "Where the bloody he** is my money?!"

What I love about the end of a tax year is a letter from the tax office saying you've overpaid your tax. The amount of the bottom of the page made my heart skip and do cartwheels like a child who just found out they don't have to go to school. All of the sudden the rain in April didn't bother me anymore and I could almost see myself singing and dancing in the rain, but I'm no Ginger Rogers and my Fred Astaire is a bit too far away to join me. Anyway, I kept checking my account for the new balance and after a few weeks I didn't want to do any cartwheels anymore (and neither did my heart).

Only in June I decided to phone the tax office to ask them what happened to my money. Apparently they sent the cheque to the bank and the bank sent it back. Huh?! Don't they want the money? So, I phoned the bank. They put me on hold. Answered. Then put me on hold again. Finally, they found someone to talk to me. The bank claims never to have received any cheque in my name. Huh?! And they casually added that I've no money in my account to pay to keep my account open. Huh again?! I have no money, because you returned the cheque! Phoned the tax office again. Was put on hold. Asked to have the cheque sent to me personally. I will deal with it later. Was told by the tax office they sent me a letter in May asking what to do with my cheque. I didn't get the letter. The cheque was at that time in the post. Two weeks later I still have no cheque.

If you see it wandering around and looking for its owner, take good care of it (it needs a warm home, e.g. my empty bank account) and let me know.